


On Certain Habits of Werewolves

by parsnips (trifles)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Bad Poetry, Bad Puns, Humor, I'm Sorry, M/M, Poetry, Werewolves, it's a long poem okay, which goes a ways to get to a very terrible punchline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trifles/pseuds/parsnips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius asks a question of a specialist; or, the poet travels quite a distance for a dirty joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Certain Habits of Werewolves

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 4.14.07 in the Pornish Pixies livejournal community. Though I didn't know it when I wrote it, this poem is certainly dedicated to thamiris, who in a roundabout way brought me to the comm. Goodnight to you, dear lady.

On Certain Habits of Werewolves  
\--  
by parsnips  
\--  
  
  
The good doctor Horn was a scholar of lore  
and to students he spoke quite a bit;  
his spellwork -- when done -- was revealed as a bore  
but on stage there were none to his wit.  
  
As the eminent wizard of mythical thought  
to be given strange questions was par;  
when stood then two young men more silly than not,  
he braced for a dose of bizarre.  
  
"Black is my name, and my friend here is Lupin;  
we've a question for you that might suit.  
Pray pardon the wording," he said with a grin,  
"and be sure that our shame is acute.  
  
"A werewolf is mating," Black started right off,  
"with a creature akin to itself;  
there's rumping and pumping and then-- a small cough!  
from a human? a mirror? an elf?  
  
"Let's say it's a human, for sake of the game;  
and the werewolf is caught unawares.  
A dastardly fellow with no ounce of shame  
is watching from half-hidden stairs.  
  
"The werewolf in question is nearly at peak  
but the cur he is fucking looks up;  
he barks to his friend that they've caught them a sneak  
and now surely must punish the pup.  
  
"But quite at the same time the moon sinks below  
the edge of the skyline for dawning;  
it's time for the werewolf to start his fast grow  
from Canis to sapien's spawning.  
  
"So here is the question we've brought here for you:  
Will this werewolf still cum in his mark?  
A good fuck's been startled from out of the blue  
by a shapeshift, a cough, and a bark."  
  
The professor sighed then and he looked in the air.  
He said, "Though I fear I am mocked,  
the answer is clear so I feel I must share:  
Your werewolf would go off half-cocked."


End file.
